Merry Christmas, Jacob

For Family Home Evening this week, we participated in one of our favorite family Christmas traditions: decorating a small tree and taking it to Jacob's grave.

We used the Sesame Street ornaments again this year because they remind us of Jacob's obsession with Elmo. Alex was fascinated with the ornaments and kept screaming, "Elmo! Cookie!" Matt went back the next day and put a short strand of battery-operated lights on the tree. One of these days I'll remember to go and take a picture of it.

This year we decided to partially bury the pot, because the trees kept blowing over and getting frozen into the ice lying on their sides. I managed to keep the tree alive long enough last year to plant in our yard in the spring. We're hoping for the same this year. Since these trees eventually become huge, we plan on cutting them down and using them for our Christmas trees when they are big enough, then replacing them with one on his grave from that year.

After we placed the tree, we sang a few carols, ending with Silent Night. The kids got back in the van while Matt and I had a few moments to stand there together and shed a few tears. July is the hardest month of the year, but December is a close second. We miss him so much, and I'm glad we have established these little traditions to make his absence bearable at the times we miss him the most. His absence is almost palpable during his birthday and the holiday season.